The Things That Drive A Sane Person Mad

I hope you enjoy this.

This is not my work, but part of something I receive every morning from ArcaMax
(Click on the link to subscribe to any number of ezines, and start your day the right way)

• You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic thing in the middle of them. 
• The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into the back of your ankle. 
• The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on. 
• There's always a car riding your tail when you're slowing down to find an address. 
• You open a can of soup and the lid falls in. 
• There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING. 
• You can never put anything back in a box the way it came. 
• Your tire gauge lets out half the air while you're trying to get a reading. 
• A station comes in brilliantly when you're standing near the radio but buzzes, drifts and spits every time you move away. 
• There are always one or two ice cubes that won't pop out of the tray. 
• You wash a garment with a tissue in the pocket and your entire laundry comes out covered with lint. 
• The car behind you blasts its horn because you let a pedestrian finish crossing. 
• A piece of foil candy wrapper makes electrical contact with your filling (or braces). 
• You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7pm instead of 7am. 
• The radio station doesn't tell you who sang that song. 
• You rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom doorknob to get out. 
• People behind you on a supermarket line dash ahead of you to a counter just opening up. 
• Your glasses slide off your ears when you perspire. 
• You can't look up the correct spelling of a word in the dictionary because you don't know how to spell it. 
• You have to inform five different sales people in the same store that you're just browsing. 
• You had that pen in your hand only a second ago and now you can't find it. 
• You reach under the table to pick something off the floor and smash your head on the way up

Multiple Meanings

Just for fun I thought I would post this amusing text I received from a site recently. There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP." It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP ! our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP! the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special. And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP. When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll! wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so..........Time to shut UP! Oh...one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night? U-P

Part 2 of some of the things that confuse Portuguese speakers across the languages

Esquecer - leave, forget

    -  It isn't usual for English speakers to say, I FORGOT something AT A PLACE. 
    -  When we use a PLACE reference, we wish to say WHERE we were when we FORGOT to remember something.

    -  It is more correct to say either, I LEFT something at a PLACE or I FORGOT something WHEN I was at a PLACE.

    -  I FORGOT something at home means I FORGOT something when I was at home. We don't necessarily mean that the FORGOTTEN thing was LEFT at home.
    -  I FORGOT to pack my computer when I was at home, is the same as I LEFT my computer at home.

(Note. This is also a mistake some English speakers make, and it tends to lead to all types of confusion)

    -  Frank Sinatra said it best, "I LEFT my heart in San Fransisco".

                                                         --ooOO\\//OOoo--

Take versus Get

    -  I will TAKE my books is a very common phrase here in Brazil. What the person really wants to say is, 
    -  I will GET my books.

If you TAKE your books, you are TAKING your books with you TO another place, not retrieving them from somewhere else. 
    -  The word TAKE translates to LEVAR . The word GET is PEGAR or BUSCAR in Portuguese. 

    -  We normally use TAKE when we want to place the object we are carrying somewhere else, so we carry (TAKE) the object to another place.

    -  I will TAKE you TO the Airport when you are ready to leave. Then when you return, I will GET you from the Airport (Pick you up) and bring you back here. GET means to collect or pick something/someone up, to bring them back. 

    -  I need to go to the bank to GET some money because I do not have any.

    -  I need to TAKE some money TO the bank to deposit it in my account.

The only explanation I can find for this mistake might be related to the expression we use to say;

    -  I think I will TAKE a coffee. Would you like one? (HAVE/DRINK tomar) There is a sense that TAKE means GET, when in fact it does not. The speaker is suggesting that he/she will go and DRINK a coffee and is actually inviting the listener to drink a coffee too. 

    -  I need to TAKE a shower. (HAVE tomar) expresses the true use of TAKE as is meant in TAKING a coffee..

                                                         --ooOO\\//OOoo--

(Just out of interest. 

I have a student who repeatedly says:

    -  My friend LEFT my computer TO RJ on Saturday. I kept correcting her (took to or left in), unable to understand why she was using LEFT. Then it dawned on me. The Portuguese word for TAKE is LEVAR.. So she was looking at LEVAR and thinking LEAVE (quite similar looking words when you look at the spelling) then used the past tense of LEAVE, LEFT, to construct her sentence.)

It takes a lot of work sometimes to understand the mechanics behind these misunderstandings.

Part 2 of some of the things that confuse Portuguese across the languages

Esquecer - left forgotten
Parentes - Parents family
Emprestar - lend
Tomar emprestado - borrow

Take - tomar

Levar - get

Bia uses The girls left the computer to Sao Carlos.

Left comes from leave which is a bad translation from Levar.

Avoid vs Prevent

Stop, Avoid, Prevent

And now to something a little different.

The use of STOP, AVOID, and PREVENT is often misunderstood by non-native speakers of English

Sentences like these are all too common;
  - We closed the doors to AVOID them from leaving. (STOP or PREVENT)
  - A rock was placed behind the wheel of the car to AVOID it from moving (STOP)

In Portuguese the most common words used are impedir, deter and evitar. Parar can be understood to mean STOP but is sometimes used to mean PREVENT (usually impedir) and vice versa, where impedir is used to mean STOP. Evitar seems to be translated more as AVOID when it might be better translated as PREVENT. As in English, a lot of these uses are inconsistent, depend a lot on context and DO lead to confusion.

The most obvious misuse is when the speaker wants to say STOP, but chooses AVOID instead.
Normally when correcting this I give the following example.

Flooding in low lying regions is common when there is a lot of rain.
   - To PREVENT flooding, it is essential to keep the drains clean and clear of blockages. A better drainage system is also recommended. (STOP, but meaning before the actual event, not during that event.)
   - To AVOID flooding, it is suggested that you take a different route, one where the roads are higher and less subject to flooding. (GO AROUND)

                                                         --ooOO\\//OOoo--

AVOID is most often used to refer to the act of taking a different path, or course of action, because an obstacle is PREVENTING further progress, or we might even want to PREVENT further progress.
   - When we see an object on the road while driving, most often we steer the car away from the object to AVOID hitting it.
   - In the office, we sometimes get on an elevator so as to AVOID talking to someone we do not want to talk to.
   - In a meeting, we try to AVOID talking about difficult situations.

There is nothing in these sentences which would allow us to use anything except AVOID.

                                                         --ooOO\\//OOoo--

We use PREVENT in the same way we use STOP. But there are many special cases where STOP just does not work.

Logic plays a hand here. When we know that something can be PREVENTED, its not always the case that it can be STOPPED.

Take HIV for example. We can take steps to PREVENT (reduce) the spread of the Virus, but we can not effectively STOP the spread. We take PREVENTATIVE measures, like using Condoms and practicing safe sex for example.

We use security measures to PREVENT crime. It does not always STOP crime, but it makes crime harder to commit.

We can STOP a car by applying the brakes (Not PREVENT).
We can STOP a fight by separating the people fighting.
We can PREVENT a fight (from starting), usually only before a fight can start.

A flood can be STOPPED if there are enough people and there is enough equipment to do so. That usually happens during the flood and means keeping the flood from spreading. Compare that to PREVENTING a flood (SEE above) and AVOIDING a flood (SEE above).

                                                         --ooOO\\//OOoo--

While in these examples the differences can be made to seem clear, the dictionary definitions can lead to confusion.  In the OALD dictionary I use and recommend, I found the following definitions.
STOP means to no longer move, to not continue.
PREVENT means STOP.
AVOID means PREVENT.
Obviously, AVOID cannot mean to no longer move, nor not continue.

The examples in the dictionary go a long way, however, to try to qualify the simplified definitions and need to be read and understood to more fully understand the differences.

   - The accident could have been AVOIDED. Means that the accident only happened because steps were NOT taken to PREVENT such a possibility. The driver should have been driving more carefully. The pedestrian should have waited for the traffic lights to change.
   - The accident could have been PREVENTED. Warning signs should have been placed along the road.
   - They narrowly AVOIDED defeat - they were lucky not to lose, or They could not AVOID defeat - Defeat was inevitable.
   - The name was changed to AVOID confusion with another firm. (This gives a sense of PREVENT, except PREVENT has too strong a meaning to be used here.
   - The government took steps to PREVENT  a scandal. (To STOP)
   - We STOPPED for the night in Las Vegas.
   - The car STOPPED at the traffic lights.

                                                         --ooOO\\//OOoo--

(There is a special problem associated with STOP)

In the sentence - I have STOPPED to talk to him, it is usually understood by non-native speakers to mean - I am no longer speaking to him.
It means in fact, that the speaker STOPPED doing something else so as to be able to speak to him. The correct expression is  -  I have STOPPED speaking to him.

I have STOPPED to smoke - Should be I have STOPPED smoking.
I have STOPPED to drink - Should be I have STOPPED drinking. (usually Alcohol)

Let`s STOP to eat means of course, Let`s STOP driving or working to begin eating.

I hope that this goes some way to explaining when and how you should use STOP, AVOID and PREVENT.

Double translations - False friends - Part 3

Part 2 of some of the things that confuse Portuguese across the languages

Esquecer - left forgotten
Parentes - Parents family
Emprestar - lend
Tomar emprestado - borrow

Take - tomar

Levar - get

Avoid vs Prevent

Double translations - False friends - Part 2

Part 2 of some of the things that confuse Portuguese speakers across the languages

Esquecer - left forgotten

It isn't usual for English speakers to say, I forgot something AT A PLACE. When we use a PLACE reference, we wish to say WHERE we were when we forgot something.

It is more correct to say either, I LEFT something at a PLACE or I forgot something WHEN I was at a PLACE.

I forgot something at home MEANS I forgot something When I was at home. We don;t necessarily mean that the forgotten thing was at home.

(Note. This is a mistake some English speakers make, and it tends to lead to all types of confusion)

Frank Sinatra said it best, I LEFT my heart in San Fransisco.

Parentes - Kin, Relatives

Pais - Parents

Familiar - Family

The first time I heard this I was really confused when someone told me they had 10 Parents living in Sao Paulo.

In English, a Parent can only be your Mother or Father. We have Grandparents and Stepparents which fulfill similar roles. Parents are not our Uncles and Aunts, nor our Nieces, nephews or cousins. These we refer to as Family or Relatives. Your Mothers large family of 6 brothers and 5 sisters are all your relatives. Their extended families are often reffered to as Distant relatives.

For older generations we begin with Grandparent, then their parents are referred to, by us, as Great grandfather (Mother etc) and Great, Great, Great for each generation that preceeds theirs.

In Brazil it isn;t uncommon for us to hear a relatively young woman saying she is a greatgrandmother. She means that here Granddaughter(or son) has had a child.

While on this subject let;s look at another awkward set of family terms.

The term STEP as in Step Mother, Step Father or Step children, refers to the Mother or Father or Children who are not yours by blood but through remarriage when two families become united under one family.. 

This is not to be confused with FOSTER (Mother, Father, Children) which is part of a social program designed to provide, usually temporarily, a family environment for mostly children, when their own environment is compromissed.

Brazil has a strong religious trait to it which means that it is not uncommon for families to invite friends to be their children;s GOD PARENTS. They are referred to as GOD MOTHERS and GOD FATHERS to their GOD CHILDREN (GOD DAUGHTER or GOD SON)

Filhos - Sons, Children

While the translation is correct, the words Filhos is also used to mean children. This leans to a lot of confusion. In questions like, Do you have any Sons (already a strange first question). When you answer, Yes, 2 sons and a Daughter. The normal understanding would be, Oh, so you have 3 sons.

After some time the speaker begins to understand the term children and can relate to that concept when the children are young.

Then they talk to a much older person and revert to How many sons do you have.

The concept of Child - crianca, is for young and small members of your Family

In English, a child is a small and young human, but your children are your off-spring as well. Your children are born and remain YOUR children, even when they grow up. They will always be YOUR children, not simply children. How many Children do you have. I have 2 sons who are both married and a daughter who is teaching at Univeristy.

Compromisso - Commitment

Compromise does NOT mean Commit. To compromise means to find a middle ground in negotiations. You reach a compromise when you agree to less than you requested, understanding that the other party has also done the same. Commonly called a win - win solution.

Indicar - Recommend, Nominate

I have seen the two films that were INDICATED for the Oscar - IS WRONG. I have seen the two films that were NOMINATED for the Oscar is how this is said.

The new Manager was  INDICATED by a friend of mine - IS WRONG. The new manager was RECOMMENDED by a friend of mine is the way you should say this.

Escrever - Subscribe, Enrol

Emprestar - lend
Tomar emprestado - borrow

Take - tomar

Levar - get

Avoid vs Prevent

Senses and exactly how we feel.

Can you feel that?

In English, a question like this is easy to understand because the idea of FEELING something is related to anything outside the range of, SMELL, TASTE, SEE, HEAR.

Did you FEEL that bump? Did you FEEL that cold breeze? How do you FEEL? Do you FEEL happy, well etc?

Portuguese, on the other hand, uses SENTIR - FEEL for everything as in the above, plus; Do you FEEL that smell? Do you FEEL that taste? And Do you FEEL that noise?
In fact, when using Portuguese it actually seems to make sense, and this is where it leads to problems in English.

                                                         --ooOO\\//OOoo--

Firstly with smell
Can you SMELL that? What is that horrible smell? I do not like the smell of that. I like the smell of your perfume. What is it? Can I SMELL it again?

FEEL relates to touch, so in this context if I ask, Can I FEEL your perfume? There is a great deal of confusion. How can you FEEL a smell? Most often there is no physical presence that can be determined through TOUCH. It is only your sense of SMELL that can really distinguish among so many different scents around us.

So too with TASTE
You have just made a delicious cake and you ask, How does it FEEL to you? In English, our automatic response is related to texture, consistency. It FEELS soft but dry. So you ask, But what about the flavour? (This was really what the first question was related to.) Oh it is delicious, so tasty. It TASTES as if you used real oranges (NOT - It FEELS as if you used real oranges.

Then there is SOUND
This is the new album by Pink Floyd. How does it FEEL to you?

It FEELS heavy. But do you like it? What about the quality? (How does it SOUND to you is the best question to ask here.)
That Radio FM station SOUNDS out of tune (Not FEELS out of tune.)
Of course, when it comes to SOUND, we experience the physical feeling that comes from powerful sound systems. This is something I FELT when accompanying a Sound truck in Salvador Bahia. I could FEEL the SOUND shaking my body. Sounds can affect your emotions so, in this case; How does that SOUND FEEL actually makes sense, but is specific to the emotional feeling, not the sense of hearing.
What was that noise? Did you FEEL that? is WRONG. Did you HEAR that? is the CORRECT way of using the sense of hearing.

                                                         --ooOO\\//OOoo--

Putting it all together results in a few other things to remember.
Firstly, the differences between certain VERBS when performing an act and describing the result.

LISTEN TO that! What did you HEAR? is the clearest yet hardest part of English usage.
The physical act, the action you have to perform, is the LISTENING. You are not LISTENING TO me is a common problem among people in all types of situations.
If you are not LISTENING, you are not going to HEAR what was intended.
We always use HEAR to describe what the result of LISTENING was.
I was LISTENING TO the radio and I HEARD the announcer say it was going to rain today.
Please note that LISTEN should always use TO, as in, LISTEN TO the music, LISTEN TO that Engine.

                                                         --ooOO\\//OOoo--

LOOK AT that! What do you SEE? This is quite similar to LISTEN and HEAR.
LOOK is the action and SEE is the result.
LOOK should always use AT, as in, LOOK AT that car, LOOK AT that flower.
There is though another form of LOOK that we use for LOOKING AT things in movement, WATCH.
WATCHING TV can be fun and also very boring. We WATCH films and Sports on TV. We WATCH football games at Football Stadiums.
Usually after WATCHING an event, we describe what we SAW.
Did you SEE the last goal in that football game last night? No. I was WATCHING the game, but I didn't SEE the goal because I fell asleep.
Come and LOOK AT my TV, means you want someone to SEE your new TV.
Come and WATCH my TV, means that you want someone to see something playing on your TV.

                                                         --ooOO\\//OOoo--

The other SENSES are easier.
SMELL that! What do you SMELL?
TASTE that! What do you TASTE?
FEEL That! What do you FEEL?

Good luck with this. I would be happy to add Portuguese equivalents if anybody wants to take the time to document them for me.